I am confused. And I'm not. I'm clear as light. And I'm not. I want so much. I have this longing deep down inside me. And at the same time I know so damn well: if things are meant to be I needn't pull my weight anyway. I know if things are meant to work out well, they will do so without my contribution, without me being this force again. I feel ashamed. I feel like this person that doesn't have any idea of what really matters. And at the same time, the gut feeling, the intuition is basically right. Things have once more been confirmed just on this very day. It was tangible. You could pull it from the air and stuff it up your throat. The bond is existent. There is this possibility in the air. I needn't ask myself whether or not, when and why. No reasons to pose any questions. The situation is kinda self-explanatory.

Looking at his face ... he is so godamn sexy. Call me crazy, but I think he is seriously getting sexier by the day. Or is it just my imagination? No. In a way, he is playing a game. And I am not sure what to make of this game, but I can't make out that I do not like this game. I do like being a part of this. The direction's right, I guess. It feels right from top to bottom. He feels right. He feels right. He makes me feel alright.

And I am not gonna ask myself whether ... the answer is right there. Maybe a little patience would help. Quoting someone else, time is an incredible thing, it helps in so many respects. There are people who believe in us, which is amazing.

The one thing, I cannot deny ... kissing, the idea of kissing ... I would be a very happy man ...