Just ethics today, then learning - all day long with the regular breaks in Nina's room, smoking and chatting time away. Today I even enrolled for the Fachprüfung in Linguistics, damn. I just seem to be somewhat exam-crazy as of late :)

Nina just said, get Aaron rid of his anxiety of ... haha, as if it were that easy. How am I supposed to go about that? I don't know him that well, I'm just having pieces of glimpses of impressions, fraction-like somethings ... and I don't wanna bargain someone into feeling for me. Such things never work, neither for me nor for anyone, for that matter. She meant sometimes the end justifies the means. No! Not as far as people are concerned. He likes me, and probably a tid more but he made a decision to not pursue what's behind the curtain. And I made my own decision, and that is: accept his decision. Period.

On the other hand, I keep thinking about him. Not regularily, not constantly intense-wise but still ... there is this "but still"-quality. This time - I swear to God - it's not like "I wanna persuade the guy cause otherwise my ego would take some damage" ... no, this time it's more like "A & M could work" - just a strange gut feeling that denies any categories. Nina told me to not throw in the towel yet. Weird, for the first time I'm really accepting denial, take it for what it is but still be appreciative of what happend within those 7 days. But now people tell me to hang on to it, now that I'm more like Zen-wise saying "things are fine the way they are." Here's what I'll do: I'll live my life, dig into the exams, take a coupla days of refuge in Linz and get back to uni in March. Call me nuts, but if A & M was supposed to happen in the first place, it'll happen anyway. Don't wanna push basically nothing. "Der Mensch denkt und Gott lenkt" is what crosses my mind. Maybe the old Mario is slowly fading, the old pal wanting too much rather than letting things happen. I'm more on the let-things-happen-side of things now. Maybe Travis are right. Love will come through. Till then, what remains is Mr. L and the nights at Stargayte. Just kidding.

One other thing: Michael really seems to be a jerk lately. Fuzzing about the most irrelevant stuff, lamenting cause I didn't appropriate him with the smiley he wanted. Holy crap, what am I all of a sudden? Four years old? I guess, it's him making stuff up constantly in order to justify the boring life he's leading. Well, I love him in a friendsy kinda way, but sometimes he's like a total pain in the neck making profane things so complicated. It's really irritating. Could someone please send him a decent boyfriend? Via UPS? Andi's probably right. Michael has been alone for too long a time now. That's why he's so inapproachable and unnecessarily Drama Queen. He doesn't have too many friends anyway, so why is he bothering the few that are left? Sometimes people are like so socially incompatible, it really makes me go through the roof what a jerko Maikel is right now ...