gham elohim jewarech otcha
"The face of you
My substitute for love
Should I wait for you?
My substitute for love."
Forgive me for quoting a Madonna song but this one is actually bjutiful (!) - Drowned World / Substitute For Love.
These days a dichotomy (new entry in the system of cool words) seems to be going on within my soul. The mere thought of Georg actually renders my soul black, pitch-black. The thought of Aaron makes the sun shine out of my bottom :) like pathetical rays of light bursting out ... he's been chatting me up again and it was really cute. Then I sent him "sche elohim jewarech otcha" which obviously struck a chord. He even called twice leaving this sweet message on the phone where he talked English and then told me "God, bless you, too" and said thank you like for a hundred times. I have it recorded, this fit of laughter in between before he said it. Such a nice laughter, like a little boy in school. That's what he reminds me of kinda. I was too afraid to answer the phone - stupid me but that's the way it is. The next day he chatted me up again and we talked English all the time, joking about Jesus and Hebrew stuff. I really seemed to entertain him because, again, he said that I'm the most bjutiful (love the writing) human being he has ever met and that he really loves me for my contradictions (which I don't have, of course *gg*). Now I'm somewhat intimidated, not knowing how to react. I would take a cab in the middle of the night and pay him a visit just to tell him that he is one of the most bjutiful human beings that ever entered my tiny world, too.
Right now, he mostly helps his brother moving to another place and in between he writes this novel of his. I really wonder what it is that he conjures up by writing it. I would pay huge amounts of money to get a glimpse of it. I have no sense at all of what is going on - and if there is something at all going on between the two of us ... but he still is what I'd love in a person, a friend. On the other hand, he said it himself "Some moments have their time." Then again, maybe, we can really be friends. I was on the verge of asking him out for a beer but I won't do that. I do not at all want to arouse any thought on his part that would burst the scheme. I would be a happy man to have someone like him as a friend. In 28 years he is one of the very, very rare people that I would actually feel priviliged to be friends with. Not one of the guys that force themselves onto me, like ... you're so great, can we be friends? He is so different. He is so full of everything, basically. He is rich on the inside which totally attracts me. I have this images on my mind, the two of us sitting in front of Parkhouse, around the pond. It is spring or summer. It's just him and me, bottles of beer, inspirational conversation, plenty of folks everywhere and this special sensation of a world that has no boundaries. I associate so much with Aaron. Maybe I shouldn't do that, but I really can't help it. Maybe there is a grain of chance, maybe not. Anyway, what overwhelms me is what Aaron represents for me. Maybe I don't necessarily long for him but the image that he represents. Whatever may come of it, now I have a rough notion of what I long for in a person. I really do. Never had that before. Never.
Pace is the trick! Thank God there's you in the world, Aaron!!
"Now I find
I've changed my mind
This is my religion."
My substitute for love
Should I wait for you?
My substitute for love."
Forgive me for quoting a Madonna song but this one is actually bjutiful (!) - Drowned World / Substitute For Love.
These days a dichotomy (new entry in the system of cool words) seems to be going on within my soul. The mere thought of Georg actually renders my soul black, pitch-black. The thought of Aaron makes the sun shine out of my bottom :) like pathetical rays of light bursting out ... he's been chatting me up again and it was really cute. Then I sent him "sche elohim jewarech otcha" which obviously struck a chord. He even called twice leaving this sweet message on the phone where he talked English and then told me "God, bless you, too" and said thank you like for a hundred times. I have it recorded, this fit of laughter in between before he said it. Such a nice laughter, like a little boy in school. That's what he reminds me of kinda. I was too afraid to answer the phone - stupid me but that's the way it is. The next day he chatted me up again and we talked English all the time, joking about Jesus and Hebrew stuff. I really seemed to entertain him because, again, he said that I'm the most bjutiful (love the writing) human being he has ever met and that he really loves me for my contradictions (which I don't have, of course *gg*). Now I'm somewhat intimidated, not knowing how to react. I would take a cab in the middle of the night and pay him a visit just to tell him that he is one of the most bjutiful human beings that ever entered my tiny world, too.
Right now, he mostly helps his brother moving to another place and in between he writes this novel of his. I really wonder what it is that he conjures up by writing it. I would pay huge amounts of money to get a glimpse of it. I have no sense at all of what is going on - and if there is something at all going on between the two of us ... but he still is what I'd love in a person, a friend. On the other hand, he said it himself "Some moments have their time." Then again, maybe, we can really be friends. I was on the verge of asking him out for a beer but I won't do that. I do not at all want to arouse any thought on his part that would burst the scheme. I would be a happy man to have someone like him as a friend. In 28 years he is one of the very, very rare people that I would actually feel priviliged to be friends with. Not one of the guys that force themselves onto me, like ... you're so great, can we be friends? He is so different. He is so full of everything, basically. He is rich on the inside which totally attracts me. I have this images on my mind, the two of us sitting in front of Parkhouse, around the pond. It is spring or summer. It's just him and me, bottles of beer, inspirational conversation, plenty of folks everywhere and this special sensation of a world that has no boundaries. I associate so much with Aaron. Maybe I shouldn't do that, but I really can't help it. Maybe there is a grain of chance, maybe not. Anyway, what overwhelms me is what Aaron represents for me. Maybe I don't necessarily long for him but the image that he represents. Whatever may come of it, now I have a rough notion of what I long for in a person. I really do. Never had that before. Never.
Pace is the trick! Thank God there's you in the world, Aaron!!
"Now I find
I've changed my mind
This is my religion."
karma_police - 27. Jan, 21:28
